Lost and Confused

I’m currently sitting in bed using my phone to write this…I need to get things off my chest. Today was rough, usually I have no problems getting Jeffery out the door to karate but today he wanted to throw a fit, we never made it out the door. He threw a shoe at me, threw himself on the ground, kicked things, screamed and was completely upset…all because I told him we’d get something to eat either on the way home or when we got home (he had a snack right before coming home so he wasn’t hungry). I’m now debating on taking him out of karate since these tantrums are obviously getting worse. We pay a set amount every month, even if he don’t go…so its a waste when he misses class. But on the other hand, he’s been in it for a while and is up to red belt with 1 stripe and he’s proud of that…I feel like all his work and our money into this would have been a waste.

The other day Jeffery had 3 of these out of control tantrums and I’m so far along its hard for me to deal with him when Jeff isn’t home.

I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I thought going back to school and being on a more strict schedule would help him but it seems to be worse and more random. Things that are normal rules he will be ok with one day and throw a fit about it another day! Time outs don’t work, spanking don’t work, taking things away don’t work, reward charts don’t work, praising when he’s good don’t work, we’ve even tried to calmly talk to him and try to calm him down and that seems to make him worse….I’ve read just about everything I can on discipline and nothing works with him!

This post don’t really have a point. I just needed to express it somewhere. Its after 11pm and I should be in bed but I’m up worrying about what I’m going to do tomorrow when Jeff is at work and Jeffery pulls another tantrum.

About Jackie

Jackie is a stay at home mom to five wonderful children, 4 boys and a girl ages from infant to 10 years old. Her life is anything but calm, most days it's pure mayhem. You can follow her on twitter @monkey_mayhem
Jackie Staples

Comments

  1. I wish I had some advice, but I don’t….. is he able to verbalize well? Could you maybe talk about it later (once he’s calmed down) and ask him why he got so upset? Maybe if he could explain it to you from his perspective, it would help you next time it happens. I hope it gets better, for both your sakes 🙂

  2. Deborah Rosen says:

    I agree with the other posters – the best thing to do is ignore the tantrums. It’ll be difficult, and he’ll ramp them up to try to get the attention he used to get from them, but it’s really the best and only way to stop them.

    Having said that, I’d also take a good, hard look at what’s setting him off. Is it always karate class? If so, there might be something there that he’s reacting to.

  3. When my daughter threw her tantrums we found the best thing to do was to just ignore her. That way she did not benefit in any way. We refused to give in to her and acted like she was not even in the room. The tantrums became less frequent and shorter until they eventually stopped altogether.

  4. malia palea says:

    i know how it is! my 4 year old daughter throws those sorts of tantrums from time to time. It seems to have gotten worse after her sister was born.

  5. I wish I could offer advice but I really don’t have any. I just wanted to stop lurking and post to let you know I’m sending hugs your way!

  6. I don’t have answers so I’ll just send a hug.