There Are Good Days…And Bad.

I now feel like I’m on a roller coaster and I’m honestly ready to GET OFF OF IT! For the first part of the Summer I couldn’t be happier with Jeffery’s behavior. His medicine was working wonders and we were calling it a miracle…we finally felt like we found something that was working.  The tantrums were almost nonexistent, the back-talking was a LOT less and Jeff was even happy because he wasn’t a “zombie” like he thought he would be after being put on medicine (he has the old ridilin (sp?) in his mind and when it first come out people said kids were zombies) We bragged to his case manager and his psychiatrist how happy we were. This has been a battle we’ve been fighting for YEARS to figure out what’s going on in his head and try to get someone to realize we’re not crazy and he’s not “normal” (I honestly don’t want him to be “normal” I just want him to function and excel in everything he’s capable of…his behavior is holding him back)

I really thought putting him in football would help...but so far it hasn't. He does enjoy it so I'm happy about that.

His school year was all downhill, the first of the Summer was all uphill and we couldn’t be prouder and we told him! It wasn’t as if we ignored that he was being better, we wanted him to know we were proud of him being good. Then come about a month ago…downhill again! This time he seems WORSE. How that’s possible, I have NO clue!!!! The tantrums are over SIMPLE things, or nothing at all (one day it was because he couldn’t get his jacket off by himself and did NOT want help from Daddy. He ended up missing karate because he couldn’t get himself together and refused to go in.) The attitude is getting bad again, he thinks it’s funny to get in trouble, he is back to lying. One day he was throwing a tantrum over us enforcing a rule (NOT a new rule and one we ALWAYS enforce) and he had such a meltdown I was ready to either commit him or myself because I was at my wits end. When he is in that tantrum there is no talking to him to calm him down, or to even figure out WHY he’s throwing the tantrum.

We go back to see his psychiatrist on Tuesday. I’m not holding my breath for him to do anything but blame me somehow. It’s taken him months to even admit I’m doing everything right and still something is going on with Jeffery…he will probably say “wait until school starts and we’ll see how he does there and if there is no improvement we’ll see.” I really hope he don’t go into his 2nd grade year with a bad start. This now has me more nervous than before. What have we done so bad with him? Neither Jaylin or Jaxon act this way…yes they both have their own issues but none as serious as Jeffery. Actually, Jeffery’s issues started when he was around Jaxon’s age and I’m happy that Jaxon is only mimicking some of Jeffery’s behavior but he’s more interested in making mommy and daddy happy…he don’t like to make us mad….he’s curious and that’s usually the only thing that gets him in trouble.

I’m a mess and if this roller coaster don’t stop soon…I’m going to be sick!

About Jackie

Jackie is a stay at home mom to five wonderful children, 4 boys and a girl ages from infant to 10 years old. Her life is anything but calm, most days it's pure mayhem. You can follow her on twitter @monkey_mayhem
Jackie Staples

Comments

  1. I know it’s hard to hear, but you have to hang in there. My nephew has oppositional defiance disorder and it is very challenging for my sister. I don’t know how she manages to get through the day, probably crying. It’s nothing even remotely comparable, but I’m going through the terrible twos with my daughter and I can only imagine what it would be like having “terrible twos” 24/7. Your readers understand because we took the time to read about your trials-it’s not the same as going through them, but we have a better understanding if we ever do come into contact with a child that acts out and that it’s not the parent’s fault.

  2. Richard Hicks says:

    So sorry to hear he doesn’t seem to be improving. I am not too crazy about meds for kids. Kids have been medicated way too much for decades and I believe unnecessarily. I think between the therapist and him growing out of it, things will improve

  3. Marla Bland says:

    I hope things are going better by now. It is very frustrating for you, I’m sure, to feel that you are being blamed for Jeffery’s behavior. Keep digging for the answers. For his sake and yours…

  4. Miranda Welle says:

    Oh my! I’m sorry to hear about the down hill part! I’m hoping the next update on this is a much more positive outcome! I feel for you.

  5. Sandy VanHoey says:

    Maybe you should record him, take that into the doctor to see for himself. Or….take him to another medical professional to see if they can help you out. This has to be horrible for all of you and ya know…probably for him as well. bless your heart, you have your hands FULL!

  6. Jessica Hornibrook says:

    I hope things have gotten better since you posted this! Best of luck to you!!!

  7. I know it has to be hard to deal with all of this right now! I hope one day you look back and realize that all the sacrificed you have made, has made him into the wonderful man he will be! <3

  8. Valorie Fischer says:

    I went through this with my own son. I wish I had a miracle answer, but I don’t. I hated the effect of the meds they put my son on, and hated how he was without them. Therapy did very little, but I think a big part of it was that he didn’t want to be any different. My son is now on his own and still struggling. I will pray for you, your son and your family.

  9. Sherrie C. says:

    My best friend went through this with her oldest son who was diagnosed ADHD at four years old. Who knew a child so young could throw such horrible temper tantrums over the littlest things? He even become violent on occasion. She went through hell and back over the years trying to deal with his outburst but now that C is fifteen years old, his behavior has improved, and thankfully, so has their relationship. I really hope you and your family get the help you need to get through this.

  10. My sister is gong through something similar and I see the pain she goes through.. I hope you guys can get the help you need.

  11. I am sorry you are going through all of this again…I know how upsetting it is for you. I hope this doctor will do something this time – something HAS to be done!

    Hugs to you…

  12. 1955nurse says:

    Bless your heart! Why is it when something like this is going on, the 1st person to get blamed is ALWAYS the Mom?!?!? It really DOES sound like it might be time for a new DR. Also, has your Son’s Medical DR run any tests? He could possibly have some sort of Chemical Imbalance going on…. Hang in there! And I agree w/ Teressa, you need someone to talk to yourself – other than family. Also a Family Counselor/Psychologist might be able to help you, your Husband & other children deal w/the upheaval that comes about when your Son is going through his tantrums, etc. It can be difficult, but the solution is out there – you just have to find the right combination of Therapies (Behavioral, cognitive & Medical can all work hand-in-hand!) I hope that you find the key soon.

  13. You probably haven’t done anything wrong. Some kids are born with emotional disorders. If you don’t like the psychiatrist who is treating him now, consider looking for a second opinion. Also, if he is not seeing a behavioral therapist, try to get him that help as well. And get some help for yourselfl either a pastor, friend or therapist that you can talk to to blow off steam when the bad days are this bad.]
    ((hugs))

  14. Jessica Hornibrook says:

    Oh no! I am so sorry!!!

    And I’m sorry that you feel the psychiatrist will blame you – sometimes there isn’t much you can do… which really stinks, but that doesn’t make it your fault.

    Best of luck…