First Day of School and Tears

Yesterday I sent Jaxon off to his first day of Head Start. Yes, he’s only 3, yes he is young, but he has a speech delay and needs a lot of help and Head Start with an IEP is the best thing for him. Jeffery and Jaylin both went through 2 years of Head Start and they did amazing. I don’t remember feeling this much heartache after sending the other two off to school for their first years of school…I guess because I only had a year of each by themselves and Jaxon has had almost 3 years by himself with me while the big kids were in school. He’s been my cuddle buddy in the mornings and even though he don’t talk much, I can understand what he wants/needs pretty easily.

Jaxon on his 2nd day of school.

It could also be because yesterday he happily walked out our front door and got to the bus then froze right before the door…he understood then that he was getting ON the bus. When I picked him up to put him on the bus he held on around my neck for dear life and just screamed and cried. My other two didn’t do that, Jaylin cried but she didn’t cling to me….she cried getting on the bus for well over a week but I don’t remember her holding onto me like he did. I walked away from that bus and wiped tears from  my eyes as I listened to him cry. I did get a reassuring phone call a little later saying he stopped crying after a few minutes and happily went to his class. When I picked him up that afternoon his teacher said he did wonderful and even told them when he had to potty (it was his first day wearing a pull-up, he’s usually naked in our house and none of us were sure how he’d do in undies) He excitedly answered “yea” to my questions about if he liked school and if he had fun and liked his teacher. I thought the worse was over.

We got up this morning and I asked Jaxon if he was ready to get dressed for school and he, again, excitedly said “yea”. We got a pull-up on him, and got dressed, took pictures (I didn’t get any the first day:( )  and we waited on the bus. When the bus did arrive he dropped his backpack and started crying…he tried to run away when I went to pick him up. It was worse than the first day! He kept reaching for the house and then Daddy when he stood on the porch. He screamed and cried and tried to get out of my arms. I had to fight back the tears. The bus aide took him from me and I had to quickly walk away as the tears started again. Today he’ll get to ride the bus home. Maybe then he’ll see the bus isn’t so bad because it brings him home too?

Jeffery on his first day of 2nd grade.

I guess I should talk about Jeffery and Jaylin’s first days too huh? They’ve been in school for 2 weeks now and have been doing GREAT!!! Jeffery hasn’t gotten in trouble and Jaylin’s anxiety seems to be doing pretty good (she has a wonderful teacher who understands the issues) I did speak with Jeffery’s extra counselor yesterday and she feels like everyone is walking on eggshells with Jeffery to keep him from having a meltdown or acting out. We do it at home sometimes too because the meltdowns are so intense. I have things in place now that we’re trying to find a new psychiatrist for him, one that don’t blame me for everything (seriously, I have 4 kids and he’s the only one who acts this way…this started at Jaxon’s age and he don’t do anything NEAR what Jeffery did! I know it’s not me.) Anyways, I think with everything we have in place, his BIP, his OT, his extra counselor, the medicine and his teacher is well aware of his issues and so far has been doing great with him.

Jaylin on her first day of 1st grade.

How were your kids’ first days/weeks back to school?

About Jackie

Jackie is a stay at home mom to five wonderful children, 4 boys and a girl ages from infant to 10 years old. Her life is anything but calm, most days it's pure mayhem. You can follow her on twitter @monkey_mayhem
Jackie Staples


  1. Natalie Finch says:

    I also have a Jaxon, who is 3 years old, and recently started preschool. He had a hard time the first few days, but the teachers said he calmed down as soon as I was out of sight. And he said he liked school, now a few weeks in, he LOVES it. Thanks goodness!
    I’m glad the school called you and reassured you, that must have made it a little easier. I hope it gets easier each day, I know how hard it is when we worry about our little ones!

  2. oh the tears! Probably rougher on mama then the kiddo. 🙂 Tay started back in July and loves it. P.s. Can’t believe how big your kiddos are!

  3. Thanks for the story that reminds me of being on the bus and wondering what all the crying was about . That was many years ago but I remember it well.

  4. aww, that’s so hard. My daughter started K and hasn’t had any problems. She got mad that I was last to pick her up once though!

  5. Richard Hicks says:

    1st day is always tough. Idon’t see how you do it with 3 kids and a baby. I would be pulling my hair out!

    Good luck!

  6. Marla Bland says:

    It is very hard to send them off to school when you know they are scared and clingy. I will never forget the day I had to bring my son’s lunch in to school and as I peeked into the classroom from the hall, he sat at his seat quietly doing his work with huge crocodile tears running down his face. Many years ago but still painful to think about.

  7. Miranda Welle says:

    That would have broke my heart when he clung and screamed and cried when you put him on the bus! I hope it gets better for you guys! Good luck!

  8. Sonya Morris says:

    Aww! I had one that loved going to preschool and looked forward to it each day. The other one cried and I could only bear to send her one day a week, then gradually two. Each year, we worked our way up to a full week. Moms always try to do what is best and it is tough because we don’t want them to be sad for even a minute!

  9. Awww I bet it’s so hard! I have a 3 year old and 1 year old and I’m already nervous for when school starts. Especially since they’re not around other kids a lot since we’re in a new town/state! I hope you guys have a great school year!

  10. Awww… poor kid. 3 is still pretty young. My son is turning 4 in November and we are putting him in part time preschool because he needs the education part of it and he’s super social. I am totally dreading it even though i know he will have fun and get used to it. It’s still kinda sad though….you hate to send them off but you gotta do it ! Hope it gets better !

  11. My son is only eight months but I know I will be crying and very reluctant to leave him when he first starts school. I even considered homeschooling him but I want him to get socialized. I encourage him to stay young as long as possible. The Head Start program is supposed to be excellent. My mom has done daycare since 1987 and she highly recommends it.

  12. Vickie Couturier says:

    my grandson cried on his first day of prek an hes four,,an he did for several days,broke my heart but I knew it was the best for him to be there

  13. Molly Bussler says:

    How precious! I remember that I didn’t want to go to head start, because I would miss my mom so much. But she had a wonderful idea that helped me get through the day without crying. She took a wallet size picture of herself, make a small hole in the top of it, then she took yarn and made a necklace for me. I wore this around my neck everyday, and I always had her with me, so I didn’t miss her so much. My baby is 4 months old, and I am not looking forward to the day when I have to let him go to school, I know it will be a tear jerker.