Some people think I’m crazy for having four kids. Some days I agree with them. Most days I can hold it together and make it to bedtime without feeling like I was hit by a couple Mack trucks and a few trains. Some days Jeff is home and I get about a half minute of peace and quiet while they’re bugging him for something or another. But then there are the days when HALFWAY through the day I’m wondering how I’m going to survive another minute…let alone until bedtime, without losing my mind (or what’s left of it). Then there are those days when I have no choice but to do something I know could potentially be disastrous and has a 99% chance of me curled up in a corner, rocking and talking to myself. Today was one of those days.
School starts for my kids on Monday. There was a lot of stuff that needed to get done and appointments that were scheduled and needed to be done. Jeff is is on night shift (6pm-6am) and he had to work tonight and every night this weekend, which meant that he has to sleep all day (oh the joys of having a husband who works 12 hour swing shifts). It also happened that Jaylin and Jaxon’s doctor appointment were in the city where we shop (saves me a trip when I can get multiple things done). Yes, I had to take all four kids to the doctor appointment. It wasn’t too bad until Justin got completely impatient with being in a tiny room and not getting any attention other than my constant “no” as he tried to get into cabinets and drawers and trying to climb up onto the exam table where his sister and one of his brothers were sitting. I don’t think I can count high enough to count the number of times I had to tell that boy “no”. So dealing with that and Jaxon had to get three shots so he can go back to school. So picture this…one eight year old sitting on the stool complaining he don’t want to hear Jaxon cry, a toddler who wants to be in the middle of it all, two nurses (one holding Jaxon’s upper body and one pinning Jaxon’s legs beside the table with her body) and a four year old who thinks it’s all funny until the first needle sticks him and then the piercing cry bouncing off the walls of a room that echos horribly, then you have me…the frazzled mom who don’t know which way to turn…the baby who’s getting into medical stuff or the four year old who needs consoling. Unfortunately this was only our first stop of the day.
After making a very super quick stop at the dentist to pick up paperwork I had dropped off earlier, we headed to pick up our layaway. Jaylin and I had went shopping the other month and got all the school clothes put on layaway, one less thing I had to worry about. But Jaylin had gotten tooth fairy money and I had promised to let her spend it…so we spent what seemed like an eternity in the toy aisles. Seriously took her forever and she finally walked away with two toys she was thrilled with. I had to pick up a few other things and honestly my mommy brain was in overdrive today because I would remember something I needed and it would always be on the other side of the store. Then waiting in line for our layaway and for them to go get it, my kids drove me crazy running around, being loud…just not listening. I couldn’t get out of that store fast enough, especially since I could smell Justin’s diaper from a mile away and forgot to bring in diapers *facepalm*. Back out to load them back into the van and change Justin’s diaper on my seat (oh and did I mention it was raining off and on today?!!? That made everything SOOOO much better…NOT!) Seriously this is where I said “can my day get any worse?” Because I ended up not being able to find the wipes and had to use napkins I happened to find…oh and I got poop on my seat while changing him.
Next and final stop was the shoe store. This has to be the hardest thing I did all day. I didn’t bring my carrier to wear Justin so I had to let him down to walk. He drove me crazy by walking off while I was trying to help Jeffery and Jaylin, he would try to grab boxes of shoes, take shoes off the display, take shoes out of the box we were looking at and trying on then putting them somewhere else. It’s all typical almost two year old stuff but goodness it was driving me crazy. I even “lost” him once or twice but he was only an aisle or two away and once when I said his name someone goes “he’s right here…he come to say hi to our daughter” and sure enough there he come around the corner with a huge grin on his face. I seriously only had my back turned for a second to look at a pair of shoes one of the kids pointed out to me and then he was gone…which it was easy for him to hide since they were small aisles, piles of boxes and he’s short. After what seems like an eternity of fussing with the kids about the shoes they were picking out (too expensive, not reasonable types) At the end when picking out Jaylin’s second pair of shoes (she needed one pair of tennis shoes and since she picked out a lot of dresses she needed a dressy shoe) Jaxon and Justin were DONE…fussing, running, not listening, once a store employee had to get after them for running while I was helping Jaylin try on a pair of shoes. We finally walked out the door with three pairs of shoes, one pair for Jeffery and two for Jaylin (I found Jaxon a cute pair at the store before while we were heading to layaway). I will NEVER….EVER….EVER do that again with all the kids! We couldn’t even get out the door after I checked out because multiple kids said they had to potty.
I couldn’t get home fast enough. I was exhausted. I had dinner planned but changed my mind last minute and got take out because there was no way I was going to be able to stand when I got home and get dinner done quick enough for the three complaining that they were already hungry.
Now I lay here in bed…thinking. Yes, I was crazy to take all the kids out by myself. But who says crazy is a bad thing? I made kids happy today. They are excited to go back to school and to see how happy they were when I let them pick out their shoes…when I let Jeffery and Jaxon pick out a matchbox car because they had been good at the doctor’s office, they were so happy, they both carried their cars through the store and opened them as soon as we got back to the van and I got them out of the bags. Jaylin opening her toys she got with her tooth fairy money and hearing her say “I love this toy”. Then getting home and showing Jeffery his clothes Jaylin and I picked out for him and he kept saying “oooohhhhh” like he was so happy about them. He even showed Jeff a few before he had to leave for work. Jaylin tried every one of her new dresses on to see how they looked with her new dress boots and even kept one on with the boots and went about her evening…not taking it off until they wanted something else to eat. I made my kids happy…and that makes me happy. Yes it was chaotic, yes I felt like giving up a few times, but honestly it needed to get done and I made it. I am still alive and no I didn’t crawl into a corner and rock (felt like it!). It’s not a matter of if I’m crazy for doing it…it’s a matter of if I’m sane enough to make sure my kids have everything and anything (within reason) they want/need.
I am thankful for each one of my kids. Yes I’ll be happy when they go back to school and I’ll have a few hours of reasonable quiet (Justin will still be here), but I will miss them. I won’t miss them enough to home school them, but I’ll miss them enough to make sure they know it when they get home and I bombard them with questions about their day.
I’m crazy. Crazy in love with my kids.